5 Ways to Release Your Expectations

Greetings Beloved,

I hope this day finds you in perfect Spirit & Health. I found this article in Psychology Today. Releasing expectations to an outcome is definitely one of those recurring lessons in Life. Generally, when I am stressed out in a situation, I take a step back to look at the big picture. I often realize that I am using my own filters on what I feel the perceived outcome should be. I always feel better when I realize …oh yes…it’s that lesson again. I am Grateful to have the tools listed below. When I read this article, I found it interesting and wanted to share it with you.

Many Blessings on Your Journey!

~Namaste~
Paula Estrada
Healing Arts Practitioner
Modern Day Medicine Woman
 
 

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By Michael J. Formica, MS, MA, EdM
Created Aug 1 2011 – 12:35pm

Our ideas about the way the world works are based, in part, upon our expectations. Those expectations color our experience – for good or ill – and can influence our reactions and responses to just about everything and everyone that we encounter. We can release ourselves from this self-created trap of expectation by following a few simple steps.

Virtually every social transaction we encounter offers us some sort of instruction, and those instructions, in turn, inform our belief systems. These belief systems are the very thing upon which our expectations are based.

Expectations help us form a world view, but they can also skew that world view in unexpected — and sometimes unwanted — ways.  Releasing our expectations and entering into the world with fresh perspective in every moment, we can enrich and enhance both our lives and our experience.

Empty your cup

In the Zen tradition there is a concept called shoshin, or “beginner’s mind“. It suggests that we should come to every situation with an empty cup, ready to receive. If our cup is full, then we have no place to put what is coming to us. Emptying our cup, we release our expectation and our sense of “knowing” allowing us to see what it is directly in front of us.  This sensibility helps us remove our tendency to interject our ego into a situation, and also deflects our tendency to interject control.

Seeing with a child’s eyes

In seeing with a child’s eyes, every situation will always appear new to us.  If every situation is new, then, by definition, we can hold no expectation. We don’t “know” what’s going to happen; we can only wait and see. If we enter into a situation “knowing”, as it were, then we lose the opportunity to experience the nuances and differences that make that experience unique, even if that experience is seemingly identical to one that we’ve had before.

Be present

We hear this all the time, but, in this context if we harbor an expectation, then we are not connected to what’s happening around us. Walking in with a full cup and a sensibility of “knowing”, we are not present in the moment, we are only present in our past.  Being present connects us to our experience in such a way that we don’t end up interfering with ourselves or getting in our own way. We are open to the newness of the experience, so it becomes fresh and novel.

Check your premise

Checking your premise means taking a hard look at whether or not what you believe actually matches with reality.  Neurosis is often touted as doing something over and over again expecting it to change.  The belief system version of that is a sort of frozen world view – “That’s just how it is” or “That’s just the way I am”.  Taking a step back from a consistently disappointing experience and looking at whether or not we’re starting from a realistic place will help us adjust our perspective in such a way so as to more accurately match reality and get a potentially different outcome.

Discard your fixed fantasies

Many times, the people whom we encounter in our lives tell us stories and we fervently cling to them. These are often cultural notions like, “If I go to an Ivy League college I’m going to get a really good job and be wealthy” or “If I marry the right kind of wo/man, I am going to be a success”. Other ideas we hold dear are simply woven into the fabric of culture and society like, “A woman’s place is in the home” or “Men are the breadwinners”.  Discarding these sorts of societal fixed fantasies is something that is very important for us in terms of learning to be flexible within the context of a changing culture.  If, say, we bring to the table of the mores with which our parents raised us and try to apply them to a teenager in the 21st century, it’s simply not going to work because those mores – and the expectations that spawned them — are trapped in the time they were applicable.

This simple collection of perspectives can help us to gain freedom from the trap of expectation that we set upon ourselves. Being open to experience, seeing things with fresh eyes, staying connected, being realistic and letting go of old beliefs lead us to a place where, rather than finding ourselves like a gnarled, old oak standing forth against a gathering storm, we can bend like a reed in the wind.

© 2011 Michael J. Formica, All Rights Reserved

Article found in Psychology Today: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/enlightened-living/201108/5-ways-release-your-expectations

Why Do We Dream? To Ease Painful Memories, Study Hints

Dear Beloved,

 

I read this article in National Geographic News and thought it might be of interest.

 

In Love & Light,

Paula

 

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Christine Dell’Amore

National Geographic News

Published November 29, 2011

Dreaming may act like a type of overnight therapy, taking the edge off painful memories, a new study says.

In a recent experiment, brain scans of people who viewed emotionally provocative pictures and then went to sleep showed that the part of the brain that handles emotions powered down during rapid eye movement, or REM, sleep—the stage in which dreams occur.

What’s more, the subjects reported that the images had less of an emotional charge the morning after. This suggests that REM sleep may help us work through difficult events in our lives, the researchers say.

Why we sleep is still unknown, and even more elusive is the relationship between sleep and our emotional well-being, said study leader Matthew Walker, a neuroscientist at the University of California, Berkeley.

(Read about the mysteries of why we sleep in National Geographic magazine.)

There’s already anecdotal evidence for sleep’s therapeutic benefits—such as the oft-repeated adage that a person will go to bed and feel better in the morning, Walker said.

And clinical data show that psychiatric mood disorders, from anxiety to post-traumatic stress disorder, can lead to sleep abnormalities.

“Despite that suggested interplay, we’ve understood remarkably little about the basic brain science that may underlie a relationship between our emotional lives and our sleeping lives,” he said.

As his new research now suggests, “it’s not time that heals all wounds—it’s REM sleep.”

Sleeping on It Helps

For the experiment, Walker and colleagues divided 34 healthy young volunteers into two groups. People in each group viewed and rated their reactions to 150 images shown at 12-hour intervals while an MRI scanner measured brain activity.

The pictures, which have been used in hundreds of studies, ranged from bland objects—i.e., a kettle on a counter top—to gory pictures of people maimed in accidents, Walker said.

One group viewed the pictures in the morning and again in the evening without sleeping in between. The other group saw the same images before a full night of sleep and again the next morning.

The volunteers who slept between viewings reported a much milder emotional reaction to the images after the second viewing.

(See “Dreams Make You Smarter, More Creative, Studies Suggest.”)

MRI scans performed during REM sleep revealed that brain activity fell in the amygdala—the emotion-processing part of the brain—possibly allowing the more rational prefrontal cortex to soften the images’ impact. (See an interactive brain map.)

In addition, recordings of the subjects’ electrical brain activity during sleep made with electroencephalograms showed a decrease in the levels of brain chemicals linked to stress.

When people experience an emotional event, stress chemicals are released to flag and prioritize that event, essentially reminding the brain to work through it during sleep, according to Walker, whose study appeared November 23 in the journal Current Biology.

“Somewhere between the initial event and the later point of recollecting, the brain has performed an elegant trick of divorcing emotions from memory, so it’s no longer itself emotional,” Walker said.

“That’s what we mean by overnight therapy.”

(Take National Geographic magazine’s sleep quiz.)

Dreaming Not an Emotional Cure-All?

But sleep expert David Kuhlmann said the team may have “overstepped its bounds slightly on the conclusions.”

For instance, dreaming is not a cure-all for emotional stress, said Kuhlmann, medical director for sleep medicine at Bothwell Regional Health Center in Sedalia, Missouri.

Though dreaming “helps improve the ability to handle stressful situations,” it’s unlikely that REM sleep will make bad memories totally dissipate, he said.

However, he said “it certainly is an interesting finding in this limited subject size in an artificial environment.”

Both experts agreed that sleep is often ignored in the medical profession, even as research has been revealing its multiple health benefits.

(Related: “Naps Clear Brain’s Inbox, Improve Learning.”)

And study leader Walker noted that the latest work is “yet another reminder that sleep is not a state where our brain is dormant and not doing anything.”

Instead research is showing that sleep has many important functions, “and one of those benefits is to help us maintain our emotional and mental health.”

** Holiday Specials **

** Holiday Specials **

Savings on Healing Sessions and Free Gift (through December 30, 2011)
♥ ♥ ♥
Free Angel Healing (30 minutes) or Psychic Reading (15 minutes) Session
for each ♥ Gift Certificate  you purchase for a friend
♥ ♥ ♥ 
25% gratitude reduction for a healing or hypnotherapy session
♥ ♥ ♥ 
Free Aura Clearing (or) one question oracle reading with each session purchased
♥ ♥ ♥ 
To read more about (distant, over phone or in person) healing sessions click here.

Would you like to receive wellness tips, specials and news from Paula!  Click here to sign up to MDMW email list

Happy Gratitude Day!

Dear Beloved,

It is with a heart full of gratitude that I send this message - wishing you and your family a HAPPY THANKSGIVING! Thank you for Be-ing in my Life.  I am sending ANGELS of Healing to you so they may surround you with their Love.

Gratitude

Wherever you are in the world, it is a wonderful day to count your blessings and be in gratitude. I Am grateful for all of you!

Healing Visualization and Commitment

Together we can make a difference in the healing of the world, beginning with a commitment to healing ourselves and sharing those gifts with our families, committing to helping in our communities and allowing the healing to ripple out into the world as we prepare to move into the next year of 2012.

Consider asking yourself and initiating the following:

  • What do I need to release and heal within myself in order to be of service to the earth and others?
  • What can I do to ripple out the consciousness of love, healing and wholeness in my actions to have a positive impact upon my family, my community and the Earth and its inhabitants?
  • In my daily practice, let light, love and gratitude flow through me to the Earth.
  • What one thing can I personally change to reduce my environmental footprint and have a positive effect on the earth? (E.g. reuse, recycle, repurpose, clear, downsize, etc.) How can this be extended to my family, community and the greater Earth community?

My Gratitude Gift for you!

Savings on Healing Sessions and Free Gift (through December 30, 2011)

  • 25% discount for a healing session
  • Free Reiki/Healing Touch Session – for each Gift Certificate you purchase for a friend
  • Free Aura Clearing (or) one question oracle reading with each session purchased this year

To read more about (distant, over phone or in person) healing sessions click here.

In Love & Light,

~Paula Estrada

“You simply will not be the same person two months from now after consciously giving thanks each day for the abundance that exists in your life. And you will have set in motion an ancient spiritual law: the more you have and are grateful for, the more will be given you.” ~Sarah Ban Breathnach

Be-ing of Service using EFT-GEM for soldiers with Post Traumatic Stress

I am going through EFT-GEM: Emotional Freedom Techniques /Guided Empathy Method Developed and taught at the Palo Alto School of Hypnotherapy. EFT-GEM works wonders for Post Traumatic Stress…as a commitment to Be-ing of Service to Community…I will donate some of my time to work with Veterans. Feel free to forward my contact information to people you feel could benefit from EFT-GEM session. It can be done in person, over the phone or via Skype.

More details to follow in 2 weeks…when I complete the Certification….

Contact info here: http://moderndaymedicinewoman.wordpress.com/aboutme/contact-information/

 

Fall Renewal: Get a Chi Infusion Session with Paula

Dear Beloved,

Fall is a time for renewal…Lift, Rejuvenate and Revitalize your essence. It is just in time …before the holiday season madness.

Healing sessions may involve direct sensing of your specific ailment. I will be able to sense the origins and chi blockages. I will facilitate Chi Infusion to revitalize and realign your energy flows.

Healing sessions with Paula are available by appointment. The cost for Healing is $100/hour

My Fall Gift to you…..for the month of September  only…my energy healing sessions will be $70 an hour.

Remember: I can do distance healing sessions too!

To schedule an appointment email me at Paula@ModernDay-MedicineWoman.com

Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind by Shunryu Suzuki

Dear Beloved,

Love it! Enjoy!

~Paula

Modern Day Medicine Woman

Happy 1st day of September!!

Dear Beloved,

I love The Old Farmer’s Almanac! I wanted to share this article with you. It’s a good resource when preparing for spell work.  Another website I like to use is Lunarium….it is wonderful resource that tells you what sign the moon is traveling. http://www.lunarium.co.uk/

Have a wonderful September!

Paula

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First Day of Fall: The Autumnal Equinox

Published on The Old Farmer’s Almanac:  http://www.almanac.com/content/first-day-fall-autumnal-equinox

Fall begins in the Northern Hemisphere on September 23, 2011, at 5:05 A.M. (EDT). Here’s more about the first day of fall—the autumnal equinox—plus, facts, folklore, and some fantastic fall photos! (Say that five times fast!) 

It is the summer’s great last heat,
It is the fall’s first chill: They meet.

–Sarah Morgan Bryan Piatt

See when each season starts for 2011 and 2012 [2].

The Autumnal Equinox

The word equinox comes from the Latin words for “equal night.” The fall and spring equinoxes are the only days of the year in which the hours of day and night are equal as the Sun crosses the celestial equator.

From here on out, the temperatures begin to drop and the days start to get shorter. See your local Sun rise and set times [6] and see how the days change!

Questions and Answers About Fall

Question: Why aren’t there exactly 12 hours of daylight and 12 hours of darkness on the fall equinox?

Answer: On the equinoxes, the very center of the Sun sets just 12 hours after it rises. But the day begins when the upper edge of the Sun reaches the horizon (which happens a bit before the center rises), and it doesn’t end until the entire Sun has set. Not only that, but the Sun is actually visible when it is below the horizon, as Earth’s atmosphere refracts the Sun’s rays and bends them in an arc over the horizon. According to our former astronomer, George Greenstein, “If the Sun were to shrink to a starlike point and we lived in a world without air, the spring and fall equinoxes would truly have ‘equal nights.’”

Question: The autumn leaves seems to be hanging on longer than usual in my neck of the woods. Is this an indication of winter weather to come?

Answer: There’s an old weather proverb that states, “If autumn leaves are slow to fall, prepare for a cold winter.” Or perhaps you just haven’t had the kind of wind or rain needed to shake the leaves loose from their branches. But look on the bright side—you get to look at the beautiful autumn foliage for a little bit longer!

Autumn Creek by: Angela Altomare

Signs of Fall

In many regions of North America, the landscape silently explodes with vibrant colors of red, yellow, and orange. The leaves begin to drop off the trees, providing endless hours of jumping into leaf piles for kids and raking them back up for parents! Baseball season hits the homestretch, while football season is just warming up. Temperatures begin to drop, nights begin to get longer, and all the woodland critters are storing up for the long haul of winter.

You can track when the seasons change [7] by recording animal behaviors and the way that the plants grow. Listen to the new sounds and observe what you hear and see.

How do you know that fall is coming? Share your comment below!

Autumn Folklore and Verse

Autumn days come quickly, like the running of a hound on the moor. – Irish proverb

Trees snapping and cracking in the autumn indicate dry weather.

If, in the fall of the leaves in October, many of them wither on the boughs and hang there, it betokens a frosty winter and much snow.

Spring rain damps;
Autumn rain soaks.

Of autumn’s wine, now drink your fill; the frost’s on the pumpkin, and snow’s on the hill.
- The Old Farmer’s Almanac, 1993

Autumn has caught us in our summer wear. – Philip Larkin, British poet (1922-1986)

Fantastic Fall Photos

Our eCards are great photographs to send to family and friends. Check out our full Fall eCard Gallery!

Bill Paulino Send as eCard now! [8]

TL O’Brian Send as eCard now! [9]

Please share—what are the signs of fall you see?

Circle of Life

Circle of Life

~Black Elk, Oglala Sioux

Everything the Power of the World does is done in a circle. The sky is round, and I have heard that the earth is round like a ball and so are all the stars. The wind, in its greatest power, whirls. Birds make their nests in circles, for theirs is the same religion as ours. The sun comes forth and goes down again in a circle. The moon does the same, and both are round. Even the seasons form a great circle in their changing and always come back where they were. The life of a man is a circle from childhood to childhood, and so it is in everything where power moves.

“Hold On” a Pueblo Indian Prayer

Hold On

Hold on to what is good,
Even if it’s a handful of earth.
Hold on to what you believe,
Even if it’s a tree that stands by itself.
Hold on to what you must do,
Even if it’s a long way from here.
Hold on to your life,
Even if it’s easier to let go.
Hold on to my hand,
Even if someday I’ll be gone away from you. 

A Pueblo Indian Prayer

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